I write to make sense of life, love, culture and everything in between.

Daughter, Please! · According to the Aunties

I Bought the Lipstick. Now What?

Femininity, appearance, comfort and the difference between looking as though you have made it and choosing what womanhood means for yourself.

A woman reflecting beside a letter and notebook at the edge of the savanna

The lipstick promised confidence. It did not mention maintenance.

There are versions of womanhood that arrive beautifully packaged and entirely unsuited to the person expected to wear them.

What do we inherit—and what do we choose?

Becoming, I am learning, is less about looking finished and more about choosing which expectations deserve a place on the dressing table.


Achom writes about culture, memory, family, womanhood and the fine print between inheritance and choice.